This week I attended a wedding (and thus this is late). My apologies.
I recently visited my grandparents, and showed them the Brock Book. My grandma, being excitable, goes to the second page and says one of the following:
a) “Lovely grounds”
b) “OH LOOK AT THAT TREE! ISN’T IT SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TREE?!?!”
c) None of the above
If you went with “b”, congrats. You guessed it right! Thanks for playing Stuff My Grandma Says.
My grandma didn’t read any of the information in the book, she just looked at the pictures of the grounds and made a fuss over every leaf she saw. I never expected anyone could be so excited over a tree, but I don’t think it was really about the tree. I think it was about showing her support for my decision to go to Brock any way she could.
Be warned students (of today, tomorrow and otherwise), people show their support in different ways. While my grandma freaked out over the foliage, my grandpa wanted to read through the book and analyze every single picture he saw. My mom continually shows her support by helping me pick out, and pack, everything I’m going to need this school year.
These are all obvious ways people show support, but sometimes people show their support in ways that can hurt our feelings.
Going to university is a BIG change, especially when you are going away for university. You might have someone in your life, be it parent or otherwise, who is angry that you are going away. Every time someone mentions university, their blood pressure rises and they get upset. If you have one of these people in your life, here’s what you need to know:
1) It’s going to hurt.
Honestly, it hurts. The yelling, belittling, and snide remarks all hurt. It is best to just admit that their sharp comments sting. If you pretend otherwise, they might feel like you are going to university to cause them pain. That isn’t to say that you should start bawling at their feet, but try telling them calmly, “it hurts that you don’t support my decision to go to “.
2) They have reasons for being upset.
It could be that they are mad for financial reasons, your schooling is going to be expensive. Think about this: if your attendance at was out of the price range you wouldn’t have applied to go there. If you applied and chose a school without informing those involved in paying for school, that was the wrong thing to do. Those involved are allowed to be unhappy with you. If those involved with paying were involved every step of the way, they knew where you were applying and knew where you wanted to go, they should be quiet. If your school wasn’t an option, they wouldn’t have supported your decision to apply to that school, and you wouldn’t have been blindsided by their anger.
Anger might also be their way of dealing with you going off to school. They might be anxious, scared or excited, and it comes off as anger.
Generally speaking, if you did not intentionally intend to hurt the angry party by choosing your school, they should support YOU, even if they can’t support your decision.
3) Try to make friends.
When around those upset by your decision, avoid talking about school. Let them know that you never meant to hurt them, but the school you chose is the one that is best for you (both academically and otherwise). About 10 days ago I told my angry party that I could use their support on move-in day. I told them that leaving home and going to school is going to be a giant step for me, and I asked that they be there on move-in day. I then informed them that they had about 40 days to be okay with seeing me off, but that they didn’t have to be okay with my choice. They just need to help me move in and be there for me throughout the year.
So there you go, how to deal from someone who has been there . And who is still there. Right now.
Good Luck (and maybe wish me some too),
Audie The Badger
Oh and P.S, if things get too intense, talk to a professional. End of story.